My Mom was a Drug Addict | Until I Told Her This…

How I Helped My Mom Beat Her Prescription Drug Addiction

I was 23 years old, I had just finished a degree program in University, I had my whole future ahead of me and my Mom was a drug addict.

It wasn’t always like this. My sister and I had a great upbringing. Mom was always there. She gave us lots of love and attention. She made our lunches and came to our games. Growing up, Mom taught us how to cook and paint and be an empowered woman.

She worked at a PR firm and everyone respected her. She made great money and provided a great home for us.

I never thought in a million years that my Mom was a drug addict nor would I ever categorize my Mom as a drug addict or someone who would associate with drug addicts.

I remember once, at a young age, driving through Main and Hastings area of Vancouver, a well known area for drug addiction, and I remember my Mom making sure to lock the doors, as if the big bad scary drug addicts would carjack us and take our money, or worse.

Then when I was 18, I remember my Dad, coming home, all frantic. Mom was in a car accident.

We were all terrified. We got to the hospital, expecting the worse, and there she was, in a hospital bed, in pretty good spirits, a little scratched and banged up, laughing with the Nurse, on duty.

Phew, it wasn’t that bad. No broken bones. No serious injuries. Little did I know, that this was just the beginning.

The Doctor sent her home with some prescription pain killers to dull the soft tissue pain, she was sure to endure.

I won’t glamorize or dramatize the next 5 years of her prescription drug addiction hell but she soon become a serious drug addict, hell bent on getting her pain killers, no matter what.

She went from Super Mom to a Super Drug Addicted Zombie, and there was nothing we could do about it.

The problem with prescription drug addiction, is that the user can easily minimize the problem and justify it because they have a bottle, with a label, prescribed by a Doctor, and bought from a Pharmacy. It crystallizes the denial of being a drug addict 100x that of someone in a back alley, sticking needles in their arms. The reality is there is no difference between the two.

As Russel Brand, the comedian, activist, and once self proclaimed junkie says: “The priority of any drug addict, is to anesthetize the pain of living to ease the passage of the day with some purchased relief.”

It didn’t matter if my Mom had a roof over her head, food on the table, and a support circle still willing to do whatever it took to help her recover from her prescription drug addiction and the street addict did not. They were both the same.

What you do need to know is during those horrendous 5 years of my Mom’s prescription drug addiction we fought with her. We all did, the entire family. But she wouldn’t listen. It didn’t matter what we said, it always led to an argument.

We all showed her how she was killing herself, destroying everything she had built but she would not listen. There was no way to get through to her.

I spoke with with some friends who were in NA, and they all told me that she needed to hit her bottom and that there was nothing I could do but be there for her, for when she was ready.

“Bullshit! Fuck that! My Mom was going to die, as I sat by and watched her control her drug addiction and eventual overdose and death.”

We had tried as a family to do interventions on her. We had all watched the TV Show; Intervention and we all thought we new exactly what to do. They made it look super easy on TV but she wouldn’t have any of it.

She started to sound like a reincarnation of Amy Winehouse; They tried to make me go to rehab but I said, ‘No, no, no.’;

I was about to give up. My mom was a drug addict. Then I started calling around, spoke with drug rehab after drug rehab, and every addiction treatment centre said the same thing; You need to hire an Interventionist.

My Dad was resistant but then I spoke with a wonderful man. An amazing Interventionist, and he told us three things I needed to hear.

1. He told me that my Dad was not resistant but rather hurt and hopeless.
2. That drug addicts are master manipulators and you can’t do an intervention on your own because she knows exactly how to manipulate us.
3. She needs to hear how much pain she has caused you.

Bingo. Number 3 really struck a chord with me. He was right. I spent years, we all did, telling her how her prescription drug addiction was killing her and tried to get her to closely look at all the damage she was causing on her life but I never really shared with her, the pain that she was causing me.

My Mom was a Drug Addict, until I Told Her This…

The only way through to her, was an emotional connection, my Interventionist told me. The only way that the addiction identity would drop its defences was if I connected with her on an emotional level. But, how was I going to do that?

So I told her that I loved her very much, I recalled good times growing up and what an amazing mom she was and then I told her how she had hurt me. That every time she popped those pills into her mouth she was popping them into mine and that it’s one thing to kill yourself but she was killing me. She was taking the life of her child, and that was it. Something happened.

It was as if something lifted, shifted, and the crusty, defensive, angry, drug addict in denial in front of me began to weep and then the weeping turned into sobbing and she reached for me and I held her as she did for me when I was a child. This time, her head was on my chest and I patted her head and told her it was going to be okay. She went to an addiction treatment centre the very next day.

That was 5 years ago. Today, she has recovered from her prescription drug addiction, she is healthy and well and my mom is no longer a drug addict.

If your Mom is a drug addict, my advice, other than to hire an Interventionist, if she is in serious denial, is to find a way to connect with her emotionally. Shift away from blame or anger or how her addiction is harming her and focus on your own pain and share with her your hurt until she feels it and once she does, she will be able to recover.

My Mom was a Drug Addict, Until I Told Her This… ©

The Most Addictive Drugs Women Should Avoid.

One might expect that the most addictive drugs would be gender equal across the board. One could easily conclude that if they are the most addictive drugs in men that they would be the most addictive drugs in women.

Removing non-narcotic, highly addictive drugs like caffeine and nicotine off the table, leaves us with a most addictive drugs list including narcotics and alcohol.

What we have found is that one drug is not necessarily more addictive in women over men but studies have shown that certain drugs do effect brain chemistry and behaviour more dramatically in women versus men addicted to the same drugs.

Just ask Julie, an Addictions Support Worker, who has worked in addiction treatment centre with addicted women for the past 20 years.

“I have worked in co-ed addiction treatment centres and women’s only addiction treatment centre’s and hands down, the two worst drugs are opiates like heroin, Fentanyl, Oxycontin and methamphetamine.”

“You don’t need to have a degree in Addictions to see the difference between users. When a women addicted to methamphetamine or heroin arrives at the centre, it’s always pure chaos, no matter what you do, for the first 2 weeks.”

Addiction Doctors will tell you that both of these narcotics, although stimulate and impair different receptors in the brain, the damage is catastrophic and it takes these clients much longer to stabilize and creates erratic behaviour during early addiction treatment recovery.”

This article is not meant to minimize the other addictive substances women use. When it comes to detox, alcohol detox and benzodiazepine detox are by far, the worst detox experiences for any women going through a drug addiction but it’s the post acute withdrawal phase that gets ugly for the opiate and methamphetamine users and what makes their long term recovery experience much more unpleasant.

Symptoms of Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome

• Mood swings
• Anxiety
• Irritability
• Tiredness
• Variable energy
• Low enthusiasm
• Variable concentration
• Disturbed sleep

Women who are drug addicted opiate and methamphetamine users, who endure the detox phase and enter into post acute withdrawal syndrome, which can last up to one year, by the way, mostly suffer from mood swings, anxiety, and irritability which makes it very difficult for counsellors and family to work with them.

It takes considerable time, patience and tolerance to help a suffering women in recovery.

We wrote this article not as a clinical document, there are plenty of those online for you to read but rather a cautionary tale.

If you or a loved one is falling into the trap of substance abuse, it is not an easy trap to escape from, especially for women.

And like we said in our opening, it’s not that the most addictive drugs for women are any more addictive than in men but the behaviour is extreme, their resistance to recovery is much worse, and their overall ability to recover is a much steeper hill.

Women are our creators, givers, artists, and caregivers. Our women need to be nurtured and cared for, early on.

9 times out of 10, a women entering detox or rehab have suffered some form of mental or physical abuse, and their self esteem is very low. Her drug addiction helps her avoid facing the trauma because the most addictive drugs work. They freeze and numb the mind into a condition where a women doesn’t have to look at their pain and trauma. The most addictive drugs work – they do their job effectively.

Our strong advice is to pursue counselling before you fall into drug addiction because for women, it’s a horrible experience to escape from. It can be done, there is hope with the right professional help but it’s better for a women to never discover the most addictive drugs ever, at all costs.

What are the Most Addictive Drugs for Women? ©

The Definitive Guide to Drug Rehab Alberta

Alberta: Oil, Money, Addiction & Drug Rehab

We could easily begin this definitive guide to drug rehab Alberta article as a rant on Alberta oil felids becoming the wild west of young men, young money, cocaine, Fentanyl and booze fuelled lives, which leads to addiction, destructive paths and collateral damage to the women in their lives.

Or we could shout a warning to the captains of industry that when you mix young guns with big pay checks together you create one powder-keg of a situation, but what’s the point? Whether you like it or not, oil, money, and addiction has become an Alberta reality, and Albertans need help.

(For immediate alcohol or drug addiction help call Toll-Free: 1-800-801-8354)

These days however, we need less carnival barking and more productive action and that’s why this article was written, to help you. If you are struggling with an addiction or know a loved one who is, it’s time to take massive action and find drug addiction help. You just need to know the landscape.  Let us help you navigate.

In all fairness, the oil industry in Alberta has taken massive and decisive action, in recent years towards combatting addiction handling substance abuse in their companies, finding drug addiction help and working with the private treatment centers Alberta. Random drug testing, multi-phase employee interview processes, more proactive drug and alcohol education and closer relations with the drug rehab centers, however our goal is to empower the person not the company because no one is really advocating for your health, they are protecting themselves from liability issues, so you need to learn how to advocate for your own health.

So if you are struggling with substance abuse and need alcohol or drug addiction help and you live in Alberta. Whether you need access to detox Edmonton, rehab Calgary, aadac Edmonton, alcoholism treatment, Renfrew detox, Landers Treatment Center or Henwood Treatment Centre, just to name a few, our definitive guide to drug rehab Alberta has you covered, including access to private treatment centers Alberta.

I need detox, what do I do?

It really depends on the severity, substance, dosages, and duration of your usage. As a rule of thumb, if it’s alcohol, benzodiazepine, or any sedative you must seek supervised medical attention because the withdrawal can be fatal.

If your drug of choice is an opiate, like Fentanyl or Heroin we strongly suggest you talk to a Medical Doctor, who can prescribe you medications like Clonodin and Valium to help you with your withdrawal but only at low dosage amounts. High dosage, daily usage of opiates does require supervised medical attention and we would suggest admitting yourself into detox alberta or detox bc, depending on your needs and urgency.

If you are coming off of a stimulant like cocaine, crack, or methamphetamine,  supervised medical attention is not required unless you are experiencing stroke like symptoms, which we suggest you admit yourself into your local Emergency. Sleep is the best cure for most acute stimulant experiences, however you certainly will experience mood swings and agitation during your withdrawal however none of these symptoms are typically life threatening.

If you are withdrawing from marijuana or hallucinogens, although some mood issues may occur, we suggest you seek the attention of either an outpatient counselling service or inpatient addiction treatment centre depending on the severity of your usage. You may still require behavioural modification to help you overcome these urges. You may call toll-free 1-800-801-8354 to discuss your options.

I’m on Methadone or Suboxone, what do I do?

 It depends on whether you are happy on these opiate alternative medications or not. These medications can be habit forming, even at the recommended dosages, so if you are unhappy on these medications, there are private medical detox facilities that can help you withdraw comfortably off of these medications. This does require medical specialist supervision.

If you are seeking drug rehabilitation, there are specific private treatment centers Alberta and AADAC which is governed by Alberta Health Services that may be willing to manage your methadone or suboxone treatment while you undergo your rehab help.

To determine which solution is best for you, you may call toll-free 1-800-801-8354 and speak with an Addiction Specialist.

I am a professional and need to remain anonymous, what do I do?

 A government run centre may not be the solution for you. If you are a business executive, medical professional, business owner, celebrity, politician, athlete, or just someone where anonymity is of your highest priority you will want to consider private treatment centers alberta or private treatment centers bc to meet your privacy needs. These centres typically offer added services and amenities like yoga, massage, full service gyms, meditation, art therapy, and pools to name a few, offer a a higher ratio of clinicians to clients, house less clients, and run adaptive, tailor made programs for the individual with a focus on one on one therapy over group therapy.

What’s the best drug rehab for me?

 The best drug rehab is one that offers the most attention, the most variety and the most relatability. How do you find this out? It’s simple. Just ask the addiction treatment centre a few questions. 1. What is your maximum client load? In our experience, anything over 15 clients under one roof starts to become unmanageable and easy for clients to hide in the shadows and not really face the word they need to do 2. How many counsellors do you have? The answer to this question is in direct proportion to client load. It’s not so much how many counsellors a drug rehab has on staff but rather the ratio. A high quality ration would be 3:1 which means for every 3 clients, there is 1 counsellor on staff 3. What modalities does your program offer? The more variety in addiction treatment, we find, the better. Certainly, any quality drug rehab alberta will have a core curriculum with a core belief system but one size doesn’t always fit all, so the more tools drug rehab centers have in their tool belt, the better. 4. Are you co-ed or discreet addiction treatment centre? Statistics show that addicts recovery at a faster rate, the sooner they feel safe in recovery. Co-ed drug addiction help, especially in your fist few weeks of recovery can feel very uncomfortable, especially for women. In many cases, the root cause of a women’s trauma, whether real or perceived can be the opposite sex. Then she attends Calgary addiction services, aadac grande prairie, or Edmonton drug rehab, which are all co-ed services and she freezes, unable to share and until she begins to share her story she will be unable to recover. This is the same for men as well but the example pertaining to women clearly accentuates the point. Men and women feel most comfortable with their own gender when it comes to addiction and mental health issues.

I need addiction treatment but I have no money, what do I do?

AADAC, a service governed by Alberta Health Services runs a variety of Province subsidized programs. Depending on the time of year, you could however be facing a long wait list unless you are on social services, your social worker might be able to expedite inpatient drug rehab alberta services for you. Provincial centers do have a high ratio of correctional clientele and social service clients and the Provincial centers do manage a much higher bed count with a much less counsellor to client ratio so be advised, although these no money drug rehab Alberta solutions can accommodate you in a financial crisis. To see if you qualify for Addiction Canada Provincial services please contact AADAC, in your community. Here is some main AADAC centre contact information.

AADAC Edmonton:
10010 102a Ave NW, Edmonton, AB T5J 0G5
780-427-2736

AADAC Calgary
1005 17th Street NW
Calgary, AB, T2N 2E5
403-297-4664
1-866-332-2322 (Toll Free)

AADAC Grande Prairie
11333 106 St.
Grande Prairie, AB T8V 6T7
780-538-6350

Do I need a referral from my Doctor?

For an AADAC centre, you may need a referral from your Doctor. For private treatment centers Alberta, you do not need a referral from you Doctor.

Also, when it comes to Doctors, addiction is a specialized area of medicine. We strongly suggest you visit, if you want to consult with a Medical Doctor before you enter treatment, with an Addiction Specialist. You can find one by contacting the College of Physicians and Surgeons of Alberta here: 1-780-969-4970 or you may ask your General Practitioner for a referral.

However, if you are seeking immediate private drug rehab services, you can easily have an over the phone assessment conducted first at toll-free: 1-800-801-8354 which will answer many of your questions immediately without having to wait to see the addiction specialist.

How long should I my addiction treatment program last?

Unfortunately, this seems to be the biggest concern of most new clients preparing to enter drug rehab center. The average stay at any drug rehab Alberta is between 45-90 days.

We understand that people have lives, families, commitments and responsibilities but without sobriety, for many users in active addiction, it could mean loss of everything and in some cases, death.

So what’s worse. 90 days in a comfortable addiction treatment centre, with a bed, pillow, 4 square meals a day, and all the amenities you need or a coffin? We know this sounds harsh but this is the harsh reality of addiction. People die.

The ultimate answer is, for addiction treatment, lengths of stay; the longer, is always, the better and it’s better to get it right the first time.

Final Thoughts

These days, everyone knows someone who has experienced some form of substance abuse. Whether it be illicit street drugs like cocaine and heroin, to prescription painkillers like Oxycontin and Fentanyl or an unhealthy relationship with alcohol, addiction Canada is on the rise and addiction in Alberta is at the forefront of that rise.

We hope, if you every need help, that this definitive guide to drug rehab Alberta will give you some guidance, awareness and understanding around what steps to take next and if you need immediate help, you can always call the drug addiction help hotline, toll free: 1-800-801-8354

The Definitive Guide to Drug Rehab Alberta ©

The War on Recovery

“The Tao that can be told is not the eternal Tao. The name that can be named is not the eternal name.” – Lao-Tzu

I don’t believe 2,500 years ago when Chinese master Lao Tzu wrote this verse that he could predict that someone called a blogger, from the future, would correlate his teachings into an article called The Blunt and Brutal Honest Truth about Drug Rehab Centers but that is the beauty of his verses from the Tao Te Ching, they seem to apply to everything.

The blunt and brutal honest truth about drug rehab centers is simply that, addiction is paradoxical, and man in his attempt to understand it, tries to name it, categorize it, brand it, and determine a definitive way.  

Our pursuit to name it, label it, and claim it, is what makes addiction so slippery. Addiction is like holding water in your open hands. It’s elusive and it easily slips away, and this is why this paradoxical verse applies so well. Addiction is both the named and the nameless and drug rehab centers, really are just the earth under the stars. The micro to the macro. 

The Named

In drug rehab centers, you will hear about the disease model, bio-psycho social models, neuro-science, family reinforced behaviour traps like co-dependency and enabling and you will hear about spirituality and to let go and let God, but which is it? How does this all help one recovery from substance abuse?

The 12 steps and the AA/NA disease model of recovery has helped millions of alcoholics and addicts lead a healthy and prosperous life in sobriety. It has helped save millions of lives and is the most evidence based results for recovery from addiction than any model of recovery since the dawn of man and his battle with substance but now new thinking has emerged.

People like Professor of Psychology; Bruce K. Alexander who theorizes that addiction is caused by people being torn from family, culture, and traditional spirituality which has led to an unrelenting pressure towards individualism and competition, dislocating them from social life.

This has spawned a new movement by Ted Speaker Jonathan Hari who says the opposite of addiction is not sobriety but rather is human connection.  You can see his Ted Talk below;

Everything You Think You Know About Addiction is Wrong

Or what about downtown eastside of Vancouver Dr. Gabor Mate. His book; In The Realm of Hungry Ghosts talk about pain and environment being the leading cause of addiction and to recover one must discover the root cause of the pain.

All of these names and their theories, right or wrong, are simply a pursuit to name. Does the ability to understand and intellectualize these names, models, beliefs and systems really help a person recover and what is true recovery? Is sobriety the truth for recovery or is it just another name?

The Nameless

Trying to understand addiction through names is a desire, a wanting to know the mystery of addiction will reveal evidence but it will not reveal the mystery itself.

The nameless therefore I cannot name or explain but to provide some guidance through the paradoxical, it begins in silence.

Our monkey brains are so active. Neurons fire on all cylinders trying to solve this complex problem.

Our thoughts, our desire to name addiction is a can of worms that never seems to end. It is a connection of dots, with an endless supply of dots.

But the true answer can only be found in between these dots, in the gap between these thoughts.

Our world, as Dr. Wayne Dyer puts it produces abundant examples of this paradoxical process. Wayne Dyer explains it like gardening. Desiring those luscious homegrown tomatoes or spring daffodils to grow is different that allowing them to grow but what really happens. We allow them to grow.

Wayne says to think of things in life that involve wanting and how they differ from allowing. Wanting to go to sleep rather than going to sleep. Wanting to diet rather than dieting. Wanting to love rather than loving.

In the world of addiction and drug rehab centers we want to recovery and be sober but what really happens when someone recovers from addiction is they allow themselves to recover.

The War on Recovery

The blunt and brutal honest truth about drug rehab centers is that no one person or place holds the key.

The war on drugs has now become the war on recovery because, just like religion, man always knows best and beliefs are powerful and dangerous things that create division, conflict, and control. Man is trying to name and claim in the name of recovery but I warn, this is a rabbit hole we have fallen down before. It does not lead the way out.

The blunt truth is a drug rehab center simply offers a reprieve in a safe environment with other like minded people, and with professionals who act as guides to help a person try and find connection and understanding through a very complex and paradoxical problem.

Now this can sound bleak, especially for families who are racing around the internet, trying to find the best drug rehab center for their loved one. Conducting extensive research and due diligence and asking questions about the differences between government subsidized drug rehab and private drug rehab and horseback riding versus a swimming pool and how many hours of therapy will my loved one receive and what’s the guarantee my loved one will recover at all and should i spend $5,000 or $50,000 on addiction treatment for my loved one? Bollocks! The reality is, all of the above may work but it also may not work.

The blunt and brutal honest truth is that the government doesn’t have the key, Doctors don’t have the key, counsellors don’t have the key, specific therapies don’t have the key, only you do.

And once you allow yourself to recover then you can follow the guides in the drug rehab center you have chosen, and it will coalesce and it will become a beautiful thing – your life, which is a process of desiring and allowing and is a combination of both, the named and the nameless.

Namaste!

The Blunt and Brutal Honest Truth about Drug Rehab Centers ©

5 Ways to Know if You’re Selecting the Wrong Drug Rehab Program

For many years, the constant complaint in finding a drug rehab program, was the lack of drug rehab programs.

Today, drug addiction has become a part of modern life. Drug addiction, once taboo, reserved for back alleys and seedy corners of the word is now an open topic in residential areas, schools, and the business world.

Drug addiction has been crippling modern society for many years now but things are starting to change. There are addiction treatment center resources for everyone. Through provincial health authorities, private assisted living centers, and outpatient counselling services, we are in the middle of a major rise in available services.

Whether you are a family member, medical practitioner, friend, or employer looking for appropriate resources for your loved one, patient, or employee, the first action usually is to find the best drug rehab centers.

Here’s the problem with searching for the best drug rehab centers. The problem is that if you call a short list of drug rehab centers, they are all going to tell you that they are indeed; the best drug rehab center.

So instead of looking for the best drug rehab center, I have written 5 ways to know if you’re selecting the wrong drug rehab program.

Being aware of the warning signs that you are selecting the wrong drug rehab program, does not mean that it is a bad drug rehab program or an unethical drug rehab program. It just means that the drug rehab program you have selected is not appropriate for you or the addicted.

5 Ways to Know You’re Selecting the Wrong Drug Rehab Program

1. The intake coordinator is too pushy.

If you work in addictions, chances are you life at one point was affected by drug addiction. So in most cases, when you are speaking with a drug rehab program, the intake coordinator has been around. They take their job very seriously, and to them addiction can equal death so in many cases it’s easy to confuse their passion as aggression. That being said, they should never be too pushy. That should set alarm bells off. Their job is to present information to you in order for you to make an educated decision not to push you into selecting their drug rehab program. You just need to trust you gut here and know the difference between passion, care, and pushiness.

2. The center is not licensed.

Every Province is different when it comes to licensing standards. Instead of going through each and every Provinces and municipality licensing regulations, which would be an article in itself, just put this on the list to ask the treatment centre if they are licensed according to the standards of their municipality, and ask to see that licence.

3. Too many beds.

It is our experience that any one drug rehab program that offers more than 15 beds in one location is too many beds. The reason for this is client to counsellor ratio. The ratio should be, at 1 to 3. That’s 1 counsellor for every 3 clients. If you are speaking to a treatment centre that houses 30, 50, 100 or more beds for clients, in our books it falls instantly into the wrong drug rehab program category. It’s not that their program is bad or unethical, it’s just impossible at that level to offer a 1 to 3 clinician ratio, and the client typically gets lost in the shuffle. The bigger the drug rehab program is, the easier it is to hide in the shadows and not do the work.

4. It’s Co-Ed.

This point is not intended to lambaste co-ed treatment programs. There are many incredible, world class co-ed programs. However, in our experience, the co-ed system always leads to problems. It leads to drama, relationships, and it acts as one gigantic barrier for the client to feel safe, get honest, and engage with their group. This has nothing to do with ethics, or credentials, or program curriculum. It has to do with addicts in recovery being distracted by the opposite sex. The argument from co-ed programs is always going to be that a discreet non co-ed program is a bubble, a fantasy because at some point, the client need to reintegrate back into reality and they need to interact with the opposite sex. While that is true, the presence of the opposite sex in most cases creates a barrier, an obstacle to honestly and sincerity. A bonding process between group and counsellor must be forged and forged fast and in our experience, a co-ed centre becomes more like 90210 that a healthy, healing, safe, bonding environment, which is the environment clients need in order to recover.

5. Poor group relatability.

Many counsellors will argue this point and say that there is always something to learn in any group and the demographics of the group should not matter. WRONG! As a client, you only have so long in treatment. At 30 days, usually your head is just coming out of the clouds and if you can’t relate to your group, you will usually alienate yourself from that group, not fit in, not feel safe and not engage in therapy. Relatability is imperative to recovery. Especially when you have a short window to complete treatment. Less barriers, the easier it is to engage and recovery. Group demographics change all the time, so just ask the intake coordinator what the current group dynamics looks like. For example; If your loved one is a 72 year old women with an alcohol problem and my group consists of 20 young men under 30 who use crack and heroin, it’s gonna be a problem. Again most therapists and 12 step groups are going to kill me over this becuase all walks are welcome, which we whole hardheartedly believe and embrace but for inpatient drug and alcohol rehabilitation, it’s a cold-hard fact. If you can’t relate it’s the wrong drug rehab program.

So there it is. 5 ways to know if you’re selecting the wrong drug rehab program. I hope this helps you in your selection process. All treatment is not created equal, so although you may be faced with crisis and urgency, just make sure you find the best drug rehab centers because if you select the wrong drug rehab program, one that is not appropriate for your needs, it can easily lead to relapse, worsen to problem, and prevent recovery from happening.

Namaste!

Demystifying Denial for Women who Need Recovery

Is rehab fit for a lady? I’ve talked before about addiction treatment perceptions for women and how it’s more difficult for women than men to accept help for their substance abuse problems because of the roles we have adopted and portray but this article is about breaking down those ego constructs in order to demystify denial for women who need recovery, be able to surrender and ask for help.

Is rehab fit for a lady? Whether you identify as a lady or an athlete or a business women or supermom. The identity you relate with and have created, over time, comes with certain rules, and these specific rules lead to your denial.

These rules that are attached to your identity can prevent you from waving the white flag, accepting help, and entering addiction treatment.

Here’s a question for you. If you had a broken leg, a third degree burn, or heaven forbid; cancer, what would you do? What are the next, most appropriate steps to take? You’d go see a Doctor, not only a Doctor but a specialist, one that specializes in your current condition, in order to map out a treatment plan.

A treatment plan that he or she can execute in order for you to recover. You get sick or you have an injury, so you visit a medical specialist who is well versed in treating this problem, then you trust that your specialists will assist you in your healing process. Pretty simple, right?

At any point, would you ever consider saying; “Well, because i’m a lady, my cancer really doesn’t exist and I should probably just ignore the advice of my Doctors”

It’s insane to even conceive of this response, right.

Now, when it comes to drug and alcohol addiction, the response is very different.

The response becomes denial, resistance, anger, manipulation, lies – all the ugly stuff. Pretty much anything to avoid the advice of friends, family, and your specialists because your drinking and drugging isn’t a real problem and you can do it on your own.

By the way, this is the number one indicator that you do need help. If you say or hear a friend or loved you feel has a drug or alcohol problem say: “I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN!” Emergency, Red Alert, Defcon 1. It’s time to get help.

I can’t drill this in enough. You can see counsellors, conduct self assessments, visit assessment practitioners, spend countless hours trying to figure out if you or your loved one has a substance abuse problem but the answer is simple. The first time you hear, and you will; “I CAN DO IT ON MY OWN!” You/They have a problem and need immediate addiction treatment. No mincing, no dancing around – Get Help Now!

The problem is our identity acts as a barrier, a wall, a fence, blocking  authentic acceptance of addiction treatment.

For example; going to drug rehab is not very lady like. You see, this is a rule that has been attached to that identity. A rule that prevents you from being seen as; less than a lady. This is true for all identities. Is drug rehab lady like? If you answer no. Guess what? If you identify with being; a lady, then we have conflict.

Ask yourself; what rules prevent your identity from admitting, I can’t do this on my own, I need help?

Your identity is a construct designed to protect your identity not protect your survival necessarily.

So if drugs and alcohol are killing you but your admittance for help goes against the ego construct, you have conflict and resistance.

You see it’s not the drugs and alcohol that’s killing you and your relationships with life truly, it is your identity. Whoa! Wait a minute. Huh?

The Solution

The solution for this is very simple. Lose the words alcoholic, drug addict, and drug rehab. These words conflict with most identities unless you identify as alcoholic or drug addict, then you’ll identify with drug rehab, as well. Make sense?

The other piece of the solution is to find addiction treatment that aligns with your identity.

If you identify with the going example of; lady, then your may want to find addiction treatment services that align with that.

Would a holistic approach align with your identity? Would yoga align with your identity?  Would a focus on one on one counselling align with your identity? Would a women’s only treatment centre align with your identity instead of a co-ed experience?

Finding Addiction Treatment in Sync With Your Identity

You see, there is an addiction treatment centre that is right for you, and approaching it this way makes the process of finding addiction treatment more in sync with who you are.

So instead of trying to fit a round peg in a square hole, the solution for your needs and identity align, and your chances of experiencing long-term recovery after addiction treatment increases dramatically.

Is rehab fit for a lady? Absolutely, but demystifying the denial for women who need recovery is an imperative step.

Make sure you understand the barriers born from identity illness. Short list the rules that make you a lady and find an addiction treatment centre that aligns with your identity and then you’re only a few short months away from long term health and wellness. This I promise you!

Written by;

Norma Pettersson
Executive Director
West Coast Wellness Centre for Women
Maple Ridge, B.C.
604-477-0765

Finding the Right Treatment Centre in BC

Finding treatment centres in BC must fist be broken down into three drug and alcohol treatment categories.

1.. Co-ed treatment centres

2.  Women only treatment centres.

3. Men only treatment centres.

The second consideration when researching Treatment centres in BC is funding. You have two funding options.

1. Government Assisted

If you are currently receiving assistance provided by the Ministry of Social Development and Innovation, there is funding available for you, to access Government assisted residential drug rehabilitation programs. Government assisted treatment centres in BC typically offer a harm reduction model of recovery and offer very low counsellor to client ratios. Client load is typically very high and programs are tailored to the group not the individual. If you are currently receiving welfare, or are considered a correctional or military client, you may contact your social worker or administrator directly and they will facilitate your entry into drug and alcohol treatment.

1. Private Treatment Centres “Urgent Care”

Private treatment centres in BC offers urgent care availability when government assisted waiting lists may prevent immediate access to care. These centres are licenced and accredited and typically have very high counsellor to client ratios. Managing 8-15 beds instead of 40-400 beds you will find in Government assisted programs. Private treatment centres also allow you to access a full continuum of care including a wide range of modalities not accessible in the government system. Within the private system, in many cases, you will find a ratio of 1 to 2 or 1 to 3 clients to clinicians and have the ability to pick and choose modalities that match your needs such as 12 step to self esteem, art therapy, yoga, cbt, smart recovery, timeline therapy, holistic models, satir methods, ptsd, and grief specialization.

Example of Private Treatment Centre’s in BC:

1. Sunshine Coast Health Centre – is a private, men’s only treatment centre located in Powel River. B.C.
2. West Coast Wellness Centre for Women – is a private, women’s only treatment centre located in Maple Ridge, B.C.
3. Edgewood – is a private, co-ed treatment centre located in Nanaimo, B.C.

There certainly are a wide variety of treatment centre’s in BC to accommodate all needs and requirements.

Deciding on which private treatment centre in bc is appropriate for you, we have put together a list of some questions you may want to ask the intake counsellor at the treatment centre you are conducting your due diligence on?

Questions to ask Private Treatment Centre’s in BC

1. How many years have you been in business?
2. How many counsellors do you have on staff?
3. How many hours of one on one counselling will I receive?
4. What specialized services do you offer?
5. What is your completion rate?
6. What does your after-care plan consist of?
7. If my loved one leaves early, for whatever reason, are they able to return and complete the program?
8. What is the longest stay at your program?
9. Do you have any online testimonials, aside from what is listed on your website?
10. Can I speak with someone that has completed your program and has, at least 1 year of sobriety?

Two more things you may want to consider:

1. Relatability.

Feeling safe enough to get honest and share with others is very important in recovery and treatment. Can you relate to the current demographics of the other clientele. To get an understanding of this, you will need to speak with the intake counsellor at the drug and alcohol treatment centre. If you can’t relate, you won’t feel safe, and you won’t share and if you don’t share, it impedes your recovery progress.

1. Are you introverted or extroverted?

Would you be more willing to share in a large group, small group, or one on one. If you are extroverted, you may feel very comfortable sharing in a large group but if you are introverted, this may cause you distress. You may clam up and not share at all and just allow the extroverts to take control of your group time. If this happens, your recovery progress slows down once again.

Feeling safe and being able to relate to others is a critical part of recovery. We have shared some helpful information with you in order to better equip you in making a decision on which treatment centre in bc is right for you.

The good news is British Columbia has some of the most diverse and well constructed treatment programs in Canada. We have a great selection to choose from. It’s just a matter of doing the work, calling around, speaking with the treatment centre’s and making sure it’s a good fit for you.

Treatment Centres in BC ©

Drug Rehab for Women: How to tell her, it’s okay to go

The reason there are more men’s only drug rehab centre’s versus drug rehab for women is not because women are less addicted but rather, women are less likely to accept they need a residential drug treatment program. Denial in women, these days, seems to be worse.

This was not always the case. Not so long ago, men were not so quick to accept drug rehab. Ego and identity played a big role in their denial. Drug and alcohol rehabilitation meant asking for help and for many men, asking for help equaled weakness. That seems to have changed in recent years. Recently, the drug rehabilitation process for men has become much more accepted and become a rite of passage, if you will.

Drug rehab for women: how to tell her, it’s okay to go was written to help women through their inner struggle with going to drug rehab.

For women, drug rehab is not about weakness for asking for help but rather loss of identity, for many.

Women today can be super mom’s, strong daughter’s, stellar athletes, or alpha business women.

We certainly live in a world today, where the butterfly is still emerging from the cocoon of oppression, and we are not butterflies yet. We are still fighting to free ourselves from the cocoon and the process isn’t always pretty.

In any power struggle, there is a push and pull and in recent years, in womankind’s attempt to pull power, it has put us in a position of defense. Protecting that which we have pulled.

But in order to drop those defenses, which is the only way to heal from drug and alcohol abuse, we must feel safe, and that’s what drug rehab for women is all about – feeling safe, which leads me to…

5 Ways to Help a Women Come to Terms with Drug Rehab

1. Don’t tell her to go to drug rehab. Amy Winehouse was right, God rest her soul. Somewhere along the lines, someone told Amy to go to rehab and we all know how that turned out. When you tell a women to go to rehab she will go directly on the defence because the definition of drug rehab for her means more pain than staying in active addiction.
2. Connect with her emotionally. The best way to do that is to come from a place of how her actions are hurting you. She cannot argue with how her addiction is causing you pain. It’s one of the most effective ways to drop her defences and connect with her authentic self.
3. Show her the drug rehab photo gallery. Pictures really do say a thousand words. Most women have a preconceived notion of what drug rehab for women may look like. Maybe the’ve seen too many episodes of Orange is the New Black, and this is what drug rehab for women looks like. No words will ever convey the pictures of the treatment centre. Show her and see her defences drop.
4. Never call her an alcoholic. If you want to see sparks fly, call a women an alcoholic or drug addict. You need to soften her up and avoid the defence reaction. Instead, simply ask her; If she feels she has an unhealthy relationship with drugs or alcohol. You’ll see the wheels turn, and if she does, more often than not, you’ll get a yes. Now you have something to work with.
5. Tell her it’s women’s only drug rehab. In many cases, even the thought of a co-ed environment can send a women into a super defence stance. The goal is for her to feel safe. Studies show that women considering drug rehab are 87% more likely to attend addiction treatment when a women’s only drug rehab is available versus a co-ed centre.

The best addiction rehab centre’s are the one’s that provide a safe environment where the client can relate with the other clients. Now, co-ed treatment centre’s will argue that a women’s only drug rehab is a bubble, that’s it’s unrealistic and that women will have to interact with men, eventually, in recovery, in the real world and I agree, however generally speaking it takes a women 30 days to settle in and if your drug and alcohol treatment program is set for 60 days, that doesn’t allow much time to roll up your sleeves and get to work and if she is in an environment she doesn’t feel safe in or is distracted by the other gender, it’s very easy to burn through 60 days without feeling recovered.

To be a woman today, means many things, but as they say, every great breakthrough in life is preceded by a breakdown, so in order to be that butterfly who finally breaks  free, one must accept that the cocoon exists.

Norma Petterson
Executive Director
West Coast Wellness Centre for Women
604-477-0765

How One Four Letter Word Can Cure a Painkiller Addiction

A simple but powerful healing method used for drug and alcohol rehabilitation

The big trend in addiction recovery today is rooted in neuroscience. So reading that one four letter word can cure a painkiller addiction might trigger some raised eyebrows.

There is some mind boggling work rising from the medical community, especially work done by best selling author and Psychiatrist Dr. Daniel G. Amen who uses SPECT brain imaging.

He’s a bit of a maverick in his field since Psychiatry, up until now has, as he puts it, thrown darts in the wind. Psychiatrists are the only medical specialists who rarely look at the organ they treat. Psychiatrists continue to make diagnoses the same way they did 100 years ago, based on clinical exams and symptom clusters.

Through SPECT brain imaging, he can assess the condition of the brain and then treat the brain based on an actual image of the brain. This is ground breaking work.

If you are interested in watching his compelling TED talk on his work, you can check it out here.

Dr. Amen is a major advocate of neuroplasticity, which refers to changes in neural pathways and synapses due to changes in behavior, environment, neural processes, thinking, and emotions.

Basically, the brain is adaptive, it’s not fixed, and this is in fact how one four letter word can cure a painkiller addiction.

Although our focus here is on painkiller addiction, mainly because there has been such a drastic surge in painkiller addiction, especially in users with no history of substance abuse or mental health issues but rather stemming from a pain management issue from accidents, illness etc. this simple but powerful healing method can be used for all drug and alcohol rehabilitation.

We also hone in on  painkiller addiction side effects because they dramatically alter brain function, especially in it’s inability to naturally cope with pain, even after painkiller addiction detox.

Before you roll your eyes after reading how one four letter word can cure a painkiller addiction, we have some important studies to share with you.

Since 1999, Dr. Masaru Emoto, a Japanese Author, published Messages from Water and also appeared in the movie: What the Bleep Do We Know? His work proved that human consciousness has a profound effect on the molecular structure of water. And that positive or negative thoughts changed the structure of water, in different ways.

Dr. Bruce Lipton, a former medical school professor and research scientist offered groundbreaking experiments,  and research that radically changed our understanding of life. In his book; The Biology of Belief, he shows that genes and DNA do not control our biology; that instead DNA is controlled by signals from outside the cell, including the energetic messages emanating from our positive and negative thoughts.

Have you guessed what that four letter word is yet? That’s right. It’s LOVE!

Running a women’s only rehab center  in Vancouver, B.C. has allowed me to see this four letter word cure addiction to painkillers, cocaine, methamphetamine, alcohol, benzodiazepines, and the list goes on.

Since 1935, the majority of addiction recovery was born through the teachings of Bill W and the study of Alcoholics Anonymous, since then the evolution of addiction recovery has incorporated CBT, Art Therapy, Yoga, Timeline Therapy, and many other modalities to help addicts recover but nothing is more powerful that the art of love.

When a Woman struggling with addiction recovery walks through my doors, you can feel it right away. They are all void of all love. Self love or Received/Perceived love.

With the absence of love, we begin to decompose spiritually and we begin to try and fill the void and many of us fill the void with destructive behavior patterns.

Painkiller addiction is  an effective way to curb the pain since the problem is an absence of love which leads to pain and painkillers kill the pain.

Renowned speaker and author, Dr. Gabor Mate, who has worked on the downtown east side of Vancouver for many years and who has worked with addicts, especially women addicts, many of which are street workers, never asks them; why the addiction but rather asks them; why the pain?

Many parents of loved one’s scratch their heads when they hear this. Often they will offer that their daughter was very loved and received everything she ever could have imagined but the absence of love is not always based in reality. In many cases it is viewed through a twisted lens and the addicts definition and expectation of love. It comes down to whether or not the observer perceives being loved or perceives being worthy of self love.

The trouble, in the science community, is there is no bench test for love. How does one quantify love?

Well, I can quantify love by the hundreds of results we get at our women’s only rehab center, every year. When Women cross our doors, they are angry, they are bitter, they are agitated and they are defeated.

Sure we implement the clinical continuum of care but what I have witnessed over the past ten years of working with Women in recovery is that by sending them unconditional love they begin to change. Their eyes brighten up, their posture improves, they begin to smile and they become lighter and more connected with the people around them.

The heart of the matter is love heals. It heals addiction and many other maladies.

5 Ways Love Heals Addiction

1. Love improves self esteem which improves your ability to self love which is the precursor to being loved. You must self love before you can be loved.
2. Love reduces depression and anxiety. Two major symptoms that can aggravate or trigger and addict to use.
3. Love is a powerful painkiller that reduces inflammation. An Ohio State College of Medicine study showed that people who were lonely developed more latent virus’ than people that are well connected.
4. Love relaxes you. When you feel loved your body relaxes which reduces stress.
5. Love allows you to love. Once you have self loved and received loved now you can love and when one loves it takes you from internal focus and shifts your attention externally which prevents relapse.

The brain is adaptive and it can heal but instead of throwing darts in the wind, I suggest a safe, healing environment. One where you are surround by love and I assure you if scanned, after enough positive intention and love directed at the damaged addict that the imaging would prove that the brain will heal under the most loving environment.

This simple but powerful healing method can be used for drug and alcohol rehabilitation. I’ve witnessed it myself; by loving them first until they can love themselves, has proven that this four letter word is the most powerful four letters of them all.

Norma Jean Petterson
Executive Director
West Coast Wellness Centre for Women
Maple Ridge, B.C. Canada

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